African-Americans time for us to have a SERIOUS chat

I created my posts on colorism and although its far from over it has been renewed. There was this discussion about the exoticizing of Women of color and its history. The topic turned to Alex Wek, when she first came on the scene and how the magazines and photographers would place her in animal print and other attire. There was a picture of Wek, who is very gorgeous by the way, and some of the guys in the discussion couldn’t or should I say refused to see her beauty. They came with the comments of “she’s pretty in her own way” and “Shes not my type,” however, these same dudes were salivating over Amber Rose.

Now don’t get me wrong both women are gorgeous and I take nothing away from them; however the mindset of the guys with the most negative things to say about Wek have an issue and its colorism. I look at different Black medias today, although most are not owned by blacks *cough* BET *cough* and sure enough there is a common pattern; dark-skinned women are not represented at all. Heck even look at black movies and sure enough dark-skinned women are not represented and if they are, they are loud, obnoxious, rude, sassy, and every black stereotype under the sun. No one seems to question it or bat an eye to it, but we all see it for what it is.

I no longer care to focus on the slavery mentality aspect of it because Africans in America no matter what you want to call yourself, you have resources at your disposal to educate yourself about your history, your self-esteem, your self-worth, and who you are, However, it seems that for many they enjoy the ignorance taught to them and when confronted with the truth they become even more ignorant.

Whether we want to admit it or not, African-Americans are trained in the art of hating dark-skin period. Now don’t get me wrong there are many men and women that fawn over dark-skinned men and blah blah blah, but there will always be something said about how that brotha is too dark or he so black… (finish the line if you will). It’s just more blatant when it comes to dark-skinned women or should I say it’s deemed more acceptable when it’s toward dark-skinned women. The whole black is beautiful movement has a condition to it, which is black is beautiful when it’s not TOO black. I call bullshit on all of this. I find black to be beautiful in all its hues, but that’s because I don’t drink kool-aid, I drink water. Lies are full of different nonsense, but the truth remains clear in all its forms.

I know some people will say that those guys have preferences and they are entitled to them, and that is true, but you can’t claim you have a preference for something that you have been told to have a preference for. Since I’m dark-skinned I should only like and date light-skinned guys because of “preference” something the media/black community has told me to like. For example, one day I was waiting for my bus and this lady sees me and begins telling me how pretty I am for a dark-skinned girl for a few minutes(insert wtf look), she seemed so shocked like a pretty dark-skinned girl is rare, and then she goes on to give me some fucked up advice. “You know what you do? You get you a light-skin man and fuck the shit out of him.” Mind you this lady is old enough to be my mother and at the time I looked about 12 or younger.  

Preference is another word for self-hate in my eyes because of the way it is used in America. These same guys would call foul if the girls that they prefer were to tell them that they weren’t their preference, especially if the girl is white or Latina then they might start marching and restart the civil rights movement.

I’m sure for a fact that if Wek was light-skinned these guys wouldn’t be making these excuses. Seriously African-American, not all of you, you need to educate yourselves and deprogram yourselves, all this self-hate that you have, you pass on to the next generation and continue  to be at a stand-still when it comes to community building. I mean there has to be a reason why the black man in America is getting lighter and lighter and the white man is staying the same, he may be tanning, but he still has his pale skin when it washes off.

“The Black skin is not a badge of shame, but rather a glorious symbol of national greatness.” ~Marcus Garvey

 Side-Note: How come I can never see two dark-skinned people together in a movie? Yes, Daddy’s Little Girl’s count, but they lightened up Gabriel Union, I peep game.



  1. I am sorry, but I am going to have to disagree with you about the Black community being trained to hate dark skin period. NO. The Black community is trained to hate dark skin on WOMEN PERIOD. It is what it is. Dark-skinned Black males are fawned over and told that that is the EPITOME of masculinity/male attractiveness. To disagree or say otherwise is akin to a klansman in full sheet regalia screaming the n-word. Sorry, that is just how it is, like it or not. In 2011/2012 anti-dark skin colorism is aimed 100% at BLACK WOMEN/GIRLS AND BLACK WOMEN/GIRLS ONLY PERIOD, END OF STORY. And it has been that way for ages now, it is not recent. You want to have a “Serious” talk about this? Then we have to acknowledge the TRUTH. No Black women or men are talking about any dark-skinned guy being “Too dark”. Come on now. Stop it, please just stop it. Like you said, in Black media it is dark-skinned Black WOMEN who are either not represented at all or ONLY represented in unflattering ways. It is GABRIEL UNION’S skin who was lightened, as you noted NOT Idris Elba’s. No Black women anywhere are saying that Idris Elba is “Attractive in his own way”, or that he is “Not their type” while they fawn over Wentworth Miller. It. Just. Does. Not. Happen. That. Way.

    I repeat, if you want to have a serious conversation about this, then we are going to have to talk REAL TALK.

    • Again I stand by what I stated. Why is it that most dark-skinned men have the most color struck issue? the whole black is bad/ugly affects dark-skinned men and to down play it causes an issue. Yes they are seen as all these things but it doesnt not change the fact that they still have an issue. Just like when a dark-skinned dude likes a woman and she likes a light-skinned guy the first thing out his mouth is oh you like them light-brights and so on. That right there shows an issue a deep seated one. There are black women that would pick wentworth Miller over Idris Elba and use the very excuses you stated, lets not lie to ourselves.

  2. Once again, I am sorry but you are in some serious denial here. The fact that it is the dark-skin Black males who are the most colorstruck only proves that it is THEM who hates dark-skin Black women the most. These males are NOT trying to lighten their skin or straighten their hair. THAT is evidenence of hating the way you look. Also, you NEVER here these males talk about how much they hate their skin color. Yes you are right they have an issue, but that issue is NOT that they hate themselves, it is that they hate DARK-SKINNED BLACK WOMEN & GIRLS. As for their comments when they hear that RARE Black girl who likes light-skinned dudes, well they hate them too, so that is no surprise. Also, look how these same dark Black males act when a Black women dates non-Black. Even though that is STILL relatively rare (ESPECIALLY in comparison to the reverse) they still pitch fits. That should tell you something about them. As for the Wentworth Miller comments, once again, please just stop it. He nor men who look like him are NOT what the MAJORITY of Black women think of as the epitome of Black male attractiveness. I am sorry but only one of us is lying to themselves here, and it is NOT me. I mean you no disrespect my sista, but this problem will NEVER be solved if we keep lying to ourselves and avoiding/pussyfooting around what the REAL issue is with this problem. The well-being of little Black girls is at stake here!

    • If someone hates someone that looks similar to them, than they hate themselves. The light=right mentality affects everyone in the black community men and women alike. There are many women that will hear a guy is dark-skinned and think ew hes ugly and vice versa. so it places both genders at a disadvantage despite what the media wants to paint the situation as.

  3. But they DO NOT hate someone who looks similar to them! A dark-skinned Black woman or girl DOES NOT look the “Same” as a Black man. They share the same color yes, but it ends there. What you say about “Many women” is simply NOT TRUE. Dark-skinned Black man have GIGANTIC egos and are SUPER CONFIDENT in their ability to attract women, ESPECIALLY BLACK women! They would NOT be like that if they were considered unattractive just like dark-skinned Black women & girls were. People, we have to STOP this denial and lies, or else this colorism plague will NEVER BE SOLVED! This is a problem that MAINLY affects dark-skinned Black WOMEN & GIRLS PERIOD!

    • There is not a denial on my part I am stating what I know, our experiences are different; just like some dark-skin girls battle with their skin tone it is the same with dark-skinned boys. The ones quick to call out someone burnt toast and what not have been mostly dark-skinned dudes from my experience and they are just as affected. No matter how the media plays it dark-skinned dudes go through it too;however, they are able to have it covered. This society is heavily male dominated but the same issues women have with body image, aging, and so on also affect males, except of coruse the media doesn’t show it. Colorism is a double-edge sword for ddark-skinned women and men as well as light-skinned women and men.

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