If you have ever been betrayed then you know how much it stings; not physically but emotionally. You feel bare, exposed, and alone. Betrayal seems to be the most common reason for people with trust issues, that feeling of being at someone’s mercy or vulnerability is not welcomed.
We all know that Judas betrayed Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. However, Judas wasn’t the only person that betrayed Jesus; the other eleven disciples betrayed him too.
Throughout Matthew you could come to the conclusion that Jesus and Peter were homies, most likely best friends. Peter got to see Jesus talk to God, transfiguration; he walked to Jesus on water, received the keys of the kingdom of heaven from Jesus, and broke bread with him. In fact, in Matthew Peter is the most mentioned disciple, so he must have been important to Jesus.
So this guy Peter, who has been with Jesus for all these amazing moments and pledged his alliance and loyalty to Jesus, denied Jesus three times, “I don’t know that man!” Jesus even told Peter that he would deny him and Peter was like never Jesus it’s me and you to the end.
Now the other 10 who witnessed everything scattered like roaches, when the lights come on, when the people came to arrest Jesus for no reason.
I mean these disciples saw Jesus heal people, drive out demons, they drove out demons in Jesus’ name, feed thousands of people with five loaves of bread and two fish. These people saw something that I wish I could see and in the end they deserted Jesus.
Now I won’t try to blame the disciples because I understand why they abandoned Jesus, they were terrified and we all have been terrified in our lives and end up doing the very opposite of what we say we would do.
Imagine how hurt and alone Jesus must have felt. When the people who were supposed to be his crew disappeared, the people he healed insulted him, and he was mocked, assaulted, and ridiculed without anyone to come to his aid.
I can’t speak for Jesus but since he was human and in the flesh, I’m sure that a part of him probably wanted someone to be there. Yes, he knew what he signed up for but at the end of the day he had feelings and I’m sure he was hurt and scared.
In Matthew 26: 38 before Jesus was arrested, he asked to his disciples to stand guard while he went to pray. “Stay here and keep watch with me” (Teen Study Bible). This is the first time Jesus ever asked his disciples something personal, he didn’t say for me he said with me, which makes all the difference.
These disciples were tired and kept going to sleep to the point Jesus was getting annoyed with them. He went to pray three times to God and the first time he prayed he asked God to deliver him, but let his will be done. Jesus was scared point-blank.
I think that Jesus felt alone the whole time he was on earth because he had such a heavy burden on his shoulders that no one else could understand.
Jesus dealt with people lying on him and being put to death for no reason other than he was an innocent and blameless person. Matthew 27: 46 always pulls at my heart because I could not imagine how he must have felt. In this verse he asks God why he has forsaken him. That question just opens the flood gates. I have felt alone before and scared and in that moment all I could focus on were the stares, the whispers and so on.
Just know that as a Christian you will have people betray you and you will feel lonely, but Jesus is with you every step of the way. He knows what it feels like and he does not want you to feel that way. So next time we feel like we are on a big stage alone let’s remember that Jesus knows what it’s like and he’s right there.
Matthew 28:20 “And surely I am with you to the very end of the age” (Teen Study Bible).